Johnny Brooks in Kenya

Well Pleased

Apparently it takes more than two weeks to unlearn thirty years worth of religious indoctrination.

Something has been bothering me for a couple of years now. Part of my nature, which some might consider a negative trait, is to ignore problems. That impulse is so powerful, that often times I can literally forget about whatever it is that bothers me. Which is what I have been doing with this particular situation, trying to ignore it till it goes away.

I have been getting the same answer to prayer for at least two years now. No matter what I pray, how I pray it, where that prayer is made, I get the same answer.

I was listening to a sermon this morning where the guy posed the question "What if this is the only answer to prayer?"

Something clicked in me. I need this answer. Preachers, Sunday school teachers, parents, Bible school, and myself have been telling me that God does not like me. He cannot even stand to look at me. Thirty years of that is hard to wash away.

Yet the answer I get to my prayers is the opposite of that message that God is displeased with me.

The answer to all my prayers is the same one Jesus heard after his baptism.

Luke 3:22 And the Holy Spirit descended in bodily form like a dove upon Him, and a voice came from heaven which said, “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased.”

God has been telling me that He is pleased with me. He has been saying "I like you." I am still learning this, but this morning at least I feel liked, wanted, and loved by the Divine.

Perhaps this is the answer to your prayers as well.

Muse?

Where is my muse? She is nowhere to be found. I think she might have left me for someone else.

We all lose our inspiration from time to time. Last week I wrote how Jeremiah 29:11 was our inspiration, which is true in my head. However my heart needs a kick in the "feeling inspired" department. Nothing has changed. We are still loving and caring for these children and others, but it feels too routine right now. No, more like I'm wading through a tar pit, and a velociraptor is waiting with that sharp claw for me on the far side.

Trust me I know how crazy this sounds. We just bought more than eleven acres of land, a dream long in the making. All the children are well, mostly happy, and being educated. I am married to a woman too good for me. I should feel like I am on top of the world, instead I find myself mired in tar and beset on all sides by razor sharp claws.

Do not think I am depressed, I am not. Just not feeling inspired at the moment.

My prayer; this too shall pass?

 

Family

I love reading the news. Scanning headlines for interesting sounding tidbits brings me happiness. I learn many interesting facts and/or psuedo facts. Example, read an article in Newsweek yesterday about secrets in the Vatican. I now know that the Pope likes toast, and apparently the vatican is riddled with corruption. Politics intrigue me. The process, the images, the posturing, the elections, and all the flim flam that goes along with it. 

In fact this year is full of politics. Campaigning going on for presidential elections in Kenya and the U.S.A. They are only going to get noisier. 

So noisy that concentrating on anything else will get difficult. Unless of course we switch off the news, but since that is unlikely we need a plan.

I propose that we remember what is really important. Governments will come and go. Sometimes our pick will win, and then other times not. That's not all that important. 

So what's more important than current events? Wars? Economic crisis? Celebrity gossip? Terriosim? 

For me it's this:

The beginning?

Let's start at the very beginning. I was born on a certain day in a certain place to a particular woman. I grew up here and there and had a childhood. Upon becoming a man I started doing man things, which eventually led to getting married. That in turn took me to fatherhood, which is pretty much where I am now.

Now that all that biographical data is out of the way let us look at a major beginning in my life. It all starts in a book, the Bible.

Matthew 25:34, 37 "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:I was hungry and you fed me,I was thirsty and you gave me a drink,I was homeless and you gave me a room,I was shivering and you gave me clothes,I was sick and you stopped to visit,I was in prison and you came to me.'

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'

I read this many many times. Once upon a time I devoured the Bible everyday. I had a strict reading plan, and I stuck with it. Too often I read without attempting to understand, I simply read to fulfill an obligation. When I threw out my reading plan and put away my Bible for a few years I finally began to see.

I saw things like this story in Matthew 25. Which if read honestly is quite clear. Jesus is to be found with the needy.

That was the latest, and perhaps greatest, beginning in my life. The realization that Jesus was not found in religious obligation, but instead was walking amongst the least of these, changed everything for me.

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Answers?

Is it possible?

Can it be done?

Is that really a reasonable goal?

Have you thought this through?

Do you have something to fall back on?

Are you 100% sure this is God's will?

Will you survive?

 

I have no clue.

 

I have experienced the following though, and am slowly learning to trust Him.

Luke 1:37 For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Hope, Johnny's Perception

Kate and I have been writing as practice. We're flexing our muscles a bit. It is not writing we intended to share on the blog, but I'm feeling frisky this evening. What follows is raw emotion and thoughts(Kate will be sharing on hope as well):

 

 

I am not sure I have any hope. Life just does not offer me any reasons to feel hopeful.

 

What exactly do I mean by hope? I am thinking of that feeling where you are actually looking forward to tomorrow. That sense that the future will be better than today or yesterday. That is hope to me, or at least as exact as I can be at this moment.

 

I do not have much, if any of it.

 

Everywhere I look the outlook is dire. Just last week I read a Newsweek article predicting that within fifty or so years the oceans could be virtually void of fish. Not a pleasant prediction, and unfortunately not an unreasonable forecast. I can see no hope in politics saving us. Politicians are so obsessed with winning the next election that they are paralyzed when it comes to making tough decisions. Putting your hope in them is the equivalent of believing in Santa Clause.

 

Hopeless.

 

Can I survive without any hope? Not for long. Without it there is really little reason to even try. Is there a way for me to find hope?

 

I am not sure that there is any hope in me finding hope in the future. What about Jesus? Sure I have hope in an eternity with Him, but it does not translate to the here and now very well.

 

Instead, perhaps I can find hope in today, in my moment right now, right here. I can imagine some hope in that situation.

 

This very moment is chock full of hope. In fact it is overflowing.

 

I may not be able to affect what is happening in the oceans, my vote is not going to create any change in the political system, the future is what it is, yet I can impact my here and now. This second is mine. I can chose to hope that it will be well. I can find hope that this moment will be alright.

 

Hope.

 

I found you.

 

Fake Miracles

Some time back I wrote about an experiment we were undertaking. We wanted to try and focus on a sick individual , at least more closely than we normally would, and help them get well enough to care for themselves.

The experiment started with one of the girls in our house's sister. Millicent was a perfect candidate. Poor, h.i.v. positive, and chronicly sick. Everything went well. We bought food, medicines, helped her children get into school, and purchased some household goods. Normally we would have only done one or two of those things, but this was the experiment. A more indepth assistance.

It worked. Her health improved and she was able to start caring for herself once again. It is our plan to do this for others now, and hopefully make a larger impact overtime.

Unfortunately we cannot control all the variables in this experiment. Millicent was doing better. She was feeling better, more optimistic than she had been in a long time. She became a perfect target for a conman.

You see, there is a plague of faith healers/prophets/evangelists/pastors or whatever they are calling themselves here in Kenya. They prey upon the weak and ignorant. One of these snakes visited Milicent. He prayed for her and declared her cured of h.i.v./a.i.d.s. To prove her faith in this healing he advised her to stop taking her medication.

She did, and of course got very sick. We took her back to the clinic where the medications are provided, but they refused to give her anymore. Or rather, refused to help her find a new regiment of drugs which would now work for her. We ended up taking her to another clinic, far out of the way, and they were willing to help her.

Please do not mishear me here. I believe in miracles, I've seen too many to dismiss them. However in all the years I have known about h.i.v./a.i.d.s. and the hundreds of people I have known with the virus, I only know of one guy who was positive and is now not. Logic dictates that once you have it, you have it for life, no matter how hard you pray, how much money you give, nor how pious you are.

Milicent is in a rough place now, thanks to some faith healer's prayer and bad advice. We are brainstorming on how to deal with these situations and hopefully reduce the occurrences of these fake miracles.

In the meantime, we will continue to love as many as possible and provide for as many real needs as we can.

Prayer

We don't know what to do; we're looking to you.

 

This is my prayer today, and well most days. It's from 2 Chronicles chapter 20.

Love or Command?

Do I need to be commanded to do what is right, or to not do what is wrong? Does my faith need a do list and a do not do list?

I don't think so.

I haven't killed anyone today because it is wrong, not because there is a rule against it. I'm faithful to my wife because I love her, not in fear of the consequences of an affair. I'm here in Kenya not because God commanded me to be here. He's never given me any such command/order. His dictate to me was/is to love.

Love is radically different from a law or command. When you love someone you don't need to be told to feed them. No one makes me cook lunch for my children, I simply do it out of love for them. Just think how appalling it is to hear of a parent who doesn't feed thier kids. It shocks us. It's not shocking because the law commands us to feed our children. Who in thier right mind responds to that type of situation with "O my God he broke the law. Shame on him hope he is punished to the full extent of the law." Instead we feel bad for the child, and hopefully are compelled to respond to the kid in love.

The law is unconcerned with love, in fact it cannot be loving. That's not what is for. The law (of the land) exists to maintain order and perpetrate whatever system spawned it. Loves only concern is the person. It cares not about enforcing the rules or demanding ethical actions. Love brings correction not with a rod but instead:

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,

"Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

That doesn't sound like the law to me. In fact keeping the rules is a much easier path to take.

 

Good Friday

When I was a child I never got why the day Jesus was killed would be called “good.” Even when it was explained to me I still didn’t get it. Especially since what I was taught as a child was that God hated me so much He had to murder His son in my place. John John (as I was briefly called in those days) appreciated the fact that someone else was sacrificed instead of me. What eight year old boy wants to be nailed to a cross? Though I still thought “bad” Friday would have been a better designation.

I now understand the atonement somewhat differently. Mainly that selfishness separated us from God, and Jesus’ sacrifice brought us back into the family. This is what I’m trying to pass on to my kids. Though for some reason all our biological children seem to be atheist at the moment.

If you follow Jesus then today commemorates a significant event in the history of our faith, no matter what view you have of the atonement. Remember it with someone.